What To Do When Everything Feels Too Loud

By Miriam (Cover art by Miles Johnston.)

I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been feeling like

everything

is too

Loud.

Politics, war, death, genocide, rising costs of living, climate change, natural disasters, trying to find a job, people on social media screaming at each other rather than actually communicating with each other … the list goes on.

It’s suffocating, and overwhelming.

And so, so

loud.

And it seems to be endless.

To be honest, I’ve been in this state of body + mind since the beginning of this year. Every single day. I could hardly see a way out, and it just felt both like a heaviness was falling down on me slowly yet steadily, and like the walls were caving in on me.

I didn’t see a way out.

At some point, I knew something had to change if I wanted to feel better — “better” being not feeling hopeless, helpless, powerless, and angry about/at myself and life — and that that change would have to come from me, not from something outside of me. Because the state of politics, all the conflicts and wars and humanitarian atrocities happening in various countries, climate change, etc., will not be shifting anytime soon. And while I want to help create change in those and other things, I am not at all effective when I’m feeling depressed, hopeless, and incapable as a human being.

So, how did I even start to emerge from the deep, deep hole that I had fallen into?

By getting back to basics.

The ‘basics’ being: How is my eating/drinking? How is my sleep? Am I moving my body, in the ways that I am able to, throughout the day, or am I mostly sedentary? What am I mentally and emotionally consuming, and is it beneficial for me (movies, TV shows, books, podcasts, TikTok videos, IG posts/reels, etc.)? How do I speak to myself?

1. Eating/Drinking

Everyone’s body is different, so every body will react differently to different foods/drinks — which is why it is so important to know what makes you feel good vs not good. I, for instance, get very bloated after I eat a lot of refined carbs (cookies and pasta — I’ll never completely give you up, even though you make me uncomfortable and sometimes leave me in pain) so I only eat a small amount at a time. However, I tend to gravitate towards carbs when I’m feeling sad and stressed, but the more I eat, the worse I feel — even if in the short-term I feel “better.” I began to notice, after months of feeling lethargic, mentally and physically heavy, angry and irritable, and like I was living in a loop that I felt helpless to, that I had been eating more carbs than I used to. Much more carbs, and also less protein (and not so many fruits and vegetables).

So I began to eat less carbs (especially from foods that I knew would make me feel bad, like cookies and muffins) and more protein (this was a bit more challenging, especially financially, but I managed). Still working on the fruits and vegetables.

2. Sleep

To be honest, I’ve had insomnia for a few years now. I’ll become much more energized at night, will have difficulty falling asleep, will wake up 2-3 times in the middle of the night, and won’t feel completely rested when I wake up in the morning (or some mornings I’ll feel extremely wired, like my brain never rested at all). This got worse this year though. My night-time energy surged, I would lie in bed for over an hour (scrolling social media), and my sleep was just not good. To say my sleep has improved is a lie; it hasn’t. But I’m aware of what I can do to improve it — not be on my phone before I go to sleep, create an ‘evening routine’ to help relax my mind and prepare my body for sleep, get early morning light exposure to help support my circadian rhythm, etc. — and that’s the first step. Now it’s about taking those steps, not just thinking about them.

3. Physical Movement

Similar to the part I mentioned earlier about realizing that I’d been eating a lot more carbs this year, I realized after months of feeling, as described above, “lethargic, mentally and physically heavy, angry and irritable, and like I was living in a loop that I felt helpless to,” that I had been sedentary for most of the day, between when I woke up and when I went to sleep. The same motions, the same places in my house (save for the few times a month I went out, like to get food) … I was on a loop.

So I made the decision to start moving more.

I started going on walks outside, I started doing workout videos on YouTube, and I started stretching between sitting down for long periods of time. I’d love to get a gym membership, but I can’t afford it yet, so I’m sticking to bodyweight workouts and using my set of dumbbells and kettlebells I’ve had for years but stopped using. And I’m starting to feel a lot less heavy mentally and physically, and also a lot more clear-headed.

4. Mental & Emotional Consumption

This one is tough. Especially with social media and all that it shows us. We can be watching an IG reel of a cute puppy one moment, then in the next we’re watching a trailer for an upcoming horror movie, then next thing you know you’re watching footage of mothers who lost their children to war, then a recipe on carrot cake cupcakes. Our minds and hearts are being stretched thin and not given any rest. There doesn’t seem to be any good news with this, but luckily there is: We can control what we consume. What we watch, what we read, what we listen to. Yes, it’s good to stay informed and to know what is happening in our community and in the world, but it doesn’t help anyone if we’re completely overwhelmed. It most certainly doesn’t help us, and it can be extremely harmful.

But — this doesn’t just apply to current events. This applies to anything that you know isn’t good for you, especially in excess. Like, for me — Skyrim. As much as I love it, I know that I need to set limits for myself, otherwise I will be journeying through towns, exploring endless caves, fighting draugr, collecting food to make meals, and trying to pick as many locks as I can for hours on end

5. Mental Talk

How we talk to ourselves is so important. I get it — when you feel depressed, apathetic, and like nothing matters, it’s almost like you don’t have the strength to even think positively about yourself (or anyone/anything). And when you’re angry at the world, and/or at yourself, it’s even more difficult to not speak to yourself negatively. But speaking to yourself kindly is crucial to feeling good about who you are.

I know that a lot of people swear by “fake it till you make it” — in this case, saying kind things to yourself without meaning them until you eventually do — and I’m sure that does work for many people, but it’s never something that worked for me. So I won’t tell you to do it, but you absolutely could. What’s worked instead for me is imagining myself speaking to a younger me. Usually it’s my 8-year-old self, sometimes it’s my 3-year-old self, at time sit’s been my 13-year-old self. But always, I speak to her with kindness, compassion, and love. I know what I went through as a child, and if I could have been spoken to with more kindness, gentleness, love, and empathy then, I know how much that would have healed my heart. And so I try to speak to myself now with kindness. Because why wouldn’t I, when younger me deserved to be spoken to with kindness too?

I don’t know if I’m completely out of the woods yet, but I feel like I’m getting closer to it. It’s hard — it’s really, really difficult some days, and in some moments — but it is worth it. If you find yourself here, whether sometime in the future or if you’re currently in this place — you are worth it, to keep going.

Take care of yourself.

Miriam