I struggle to find meaning in school, work, and my future. What now?
By Homura
A lot of us are in the same boat.
We’re in high school or coming out of high school, no skills, no college prospects, and probably going to be working a dead-end job for the foreseeable future.
What if I don’t want to live like this?
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You might be thinking about your future and feeling hopeless. You might also wonder how people with lower-paying or less-specialized jobs find meaning in their lives.
Let’s first look at a real person and how he copes with his “dead-end job” (his words).
(3:47) “Alright, people are finally starting to be a bit nicer, I dunno what happened earlier, everybody’s all pissed off...”
Ian is a YouTuber who posts clips of his daily life, including his job at 7-11. In this video, called “Why am I 30 years old working a dead end retail job?”, he talks about how he got to where he is.
(5:54) “I keep getting the same comment over and over: Hey bro, why are you in this situation, why are you 30 years old working at 7-11, what happened in your life that’s so horrible, what happened to you... And honestly man? I don’t know. I just finally kinda woke up, like last year...”
Ian talks about having duties at home, dropping in and out of community college, and developing an alcohol addiction.
(10:25) “Slowly but surely my life became like, miserable. Like, everything messed up.”
(13:25) “It took a lot, man, because I remember looking at myself and being like, bro, this is what you’re gonna be, you’re gonna be a homeless, degenerate guy, on the street, opening up doors for people, asking for money just so you can drink and just die... like, doing nothing... and I just needed to fix it for myself, because that was it, I was gonna die. And I’ve been on YouTube for 15 years, man... it took me 15 years and I finally got this viral video. I still don’t believe it. And who would have known that working at 7-11 would have been the key to my content blowing up?... Working at 7-11, I’ve always enjoyed it, I dunno why, I just do. And I’m having a lot of fun making the content.”
(15:30) “So, if you feel like you’re a failure, or a loser, you know, you might be. Because, that’s just how life happens sometimes, man. And a lot of the time I feel like a loser and a failure, and it’s good motivation to not do that and not want to be that...”
So, what meaning is he getting from all this?
Ian says he doesn’t know why he enjoys working at 7-11, but let’s see if we can identify a few things. For one, he gets steady hours and can pay the bills. He has a coworker he likes talking and laughing with (Armando). Another is that he’s worked there for a while and it doesn’t take as much brain power to do the job——the body and brain adjust. Ian also seems to enjoy keeping the store looking good. These are all potential sources of meaning. If you don’t find much meaning in what you do at work or school, that’s okay——it might be a matter of time, or you might look for meaning outside of work.
(3:54) “I’m gonna get ready right now to clean my guinea pigs’ cage... they really don’t like their cage being cleaned, they have some sorta PTSD, so the key is... you gotta give them a nice carrot.”
(5:46) “All the money is going to my emergency fund, giving some to my grandma, and getting the guinea pigs the guinea pig mansion.”
Ian has a lot of views now, but the meaning he built and the struggles he’s going through came way before the YouTube fame.
We can also look at the comments on these videos:
Quick note on that last comment: What people post on social media is how they want to be seen by others.
Usually, that means posting pics of them hanging out with friends, being with family, romantic partners, trips, pets, hobbies...
Usually, they’re not posting the long days at their 9-to-5, at least not publicly. Unless it’s a vent post, they usually don’t post about it when they’re depressed, angry, or disappointed. They’re certainly don’t like to post that they made a mistake or disappointed someone else. The result is our filtered selves that we project on Instagram, Twitter/X, Snapchat... not only can this warp others’ perceptions of us, it can warp what we value in ourselves.
“What I’m doing right now is not exciting or happy enough to post, so it must have no value.”
“I didn’t get many likes or comments on my post, so it must not be valuable or interesting.”
“As judged by low interactions on my post, my life has little value. Maybe I have little value as a person...”
That’s a scary place to be in. The more you let others determine your value and the meaning of your life, the harder it is to uproot that idea.
TL;DR, You are the only one that can decide meaning for your life. You can find meaning wherever you wish to, not necessarily in places people tell you to. If you only have a little bit of meaning right now, that’s okay. Just focus on that and stay looking. And lastly, remember, you are inherently worthy of love and respect.